Congratulations, mate. You’ve pulled the ultimate romantic move and decided to whisk your better half away to Venice for Valentine’s next month. It’s a bold play—a city famous for canals, gondolas, and overpriced wine. To make sure you’re on top form, here’s your 48-hour plan to impress the missus while sneaking in a pint or two for yourself.
Where to Eat
Antiche Carampane Location: Near Rialto Market Let’s kick things off with some proper Venetian grub. This old-school spot has a no-nonsense vibe and food that’ll make you look like a man who knows his linguine from his lasagna. Bonus points for its tucked-away location—she’ll think you’ve done your research.
Ristorante Quadri Location: Piazza San Marco You’re in Venice, so you’ve got to have at least one ‘let’s pretend we’re royalty’ meal. Quadri’s got the views and the Michelin-starred food. Splash out on the tasting menu and enjoy watching her Instagram the entire thing.
Osteria Al Squero Location: Dorsoduro If you’re after something a bit more low-key (and cheaper), head here for cicchetti. These little snacks are basically Italian tapas. Pair them with a spritz and you’ll both be happy. Plus, it’s right by a gondola repair yard, so it’s a solid photo op.
Where to Drink
Harry’s Bar Location: Near Piazza San Marco Yes, it’s a tourist trap. Yes, it’s overpriced. But it’s also the birthplace of the Bellini. Take her for a cocktail, pretend you’re in a 1950s film, and then discreetly check your bank balance when she’s not looking.
Skyline Rooftop Bar Location: Hilton Molino Stucky Hop on a water taxi to Giudecca Island and head up to this swanky rooftop. The views of Venice at night are worth the trip, and the cocktails are surprisingly strong. Perfect for earning yourself a few brownie points.
Cantine del Vino Già Schiavi Location: Dorsoduro This is where the locals go for wine. It’s small, cozy, and has a solid selection of bottles. Grab a glass of something red, pair it with some cicchetti, and pretend you’ve always been a wine guy.
What to Do
Ride a Gondola (But Be Smart About It) Location: Everywhere Yes, it’s cliché. Yes, it’s expensive. But it’s also the ultimate Valentine’s move. Split the cost with another couple if you can, and try not to laugh when the gondolier starts singing.
Piazza San Marco Location: Heart of Venice You’ve got to visit the square. It’s got the Basilica, the Campanile, and a million pigeons. Do the touristy bit, take the selfies, and then escape before the crowds make you regret your life choices.
Murano and Burano Location: Short Boat Ride Away If you’ve got time, take her to these nearby islands. Murano’s all about glass-blowing (which she’ll find fascinating), and Burano’s got colorful houses that scream “Instagram”. Meanwhile, you can enjoy the relative peace and quiet.
Late-Night Fun
Casino di Venezia Location: Cannaregio Feeling lucky? The world’s oldest casino is right here in Venice. Dress smart (no trainers, mate) and try not to lose the gondola budget on blackjack.
Venice Jazz Club Location: Dorsoduro For something a bit more chill, check out this intimate jazz spot. It’s cool, classy, and a great way to end the evening. Order a Negroni and let the music do the rest.
The Hangover Cure
Caffè Florian Location: Piazza San Marco This historic cafe has been serving overpriced coffee since 1720, so you might as well give it a go. Sit outside, nurse an espresso, and pretend you’re living in a Bond film.
Dal Moro’s Fresh Pasta to Go Location: Near Rialto If you need carbs and need them fast, this takeaway pasta spot is the answer. It’s cheap, cheerful, and will sort you out after one too many spritzes.
Final Pro Tip
Venice is a maze, so you’re going to get lost. Just roll with it. Every corner has a charming canal, a cute cafe, or a hidden wine bar. Act like it’s all part of the plan, and she’ll never know you’ve got no clue where you are. Enjoy, lads.
