Garden Centres Are the New Nightclubs: Josh Jones Grows Up (Reluctantly)
Fresh off the back of a sell-out tour that’s been stretched well into 2026, Josh Jones is having a very Josh Jones moment: wildly successful, relentlessly funny, and powered almost entirely by Greggs, McDonald’s, and a battered joke diary. Catching up with him mid-tour in his hometown of Manchester, Jones is as sharp and self-deprecating as ever, riffing on everything from garden centres and daytime raves to WWE, Vikings, and the quiet horror of driving lessons.
With his new show, I Haven’t Won the Lottery Yet, So Here’s Another Tour Show, Jones proves that momentum hasn’t dulled his voice. If anything, it’s sharpened it. Now firmly in his thirties, newly domesticated, and blissfully unfazed by the pressures of success (except those imposed by the taxman), he talks candidly about writing discipline, reality TV injuries, and why, even if he did win the lottery mid-tour, he’d still turn up.
By Fred Spanner
Images: Josh Faithi
How are things with you?
Good. I’ve got the day off. I’m going to my mate's house tonight. All of the shows so far have been great. One was alright, but it was still good. The audiences have been dead nice. I’ve just been eating loads.
Is it the curse of the Greggs?
Yeah, I eat a lot of Greggs. I was trying to be healthy, so I started going to Leon, but you don’t get so many of them. But then, after the shows, every comedian’s downfall is a McDonald's, ’cause they’re in every service station.
Are there any venues where you thought, “Yeah, I’m going back there”?
Yeah, I’ve got a list of places I’m definitely going back to. And a list of those I’ll never visit again. It’s the venues rather than the towns. All of the places I’ve been on this tour, I’ll go back to. Except one, which I won’t name. Most of the extra venues are up north, ‘cause I sell better up there.
Was there a lot of pressure for you to write this tour, after the success of your previous one, Gobsmacked?
There was a lot of pressure, but mainly from the taxman. Now it’s my job, I have to write another as soon as one finishes. But also, I do write a lot. Even for a comedian, I do think I turn over a lot of material. As soon as one tour’s done, I want to write new stuff ‘cause I do get bored with saying the same stuff over and over again.
Do you still have the same discipline of writing at least one joke per day?
Yeah, in fact, I’ve got my joke diary for 2025 here. You can see how battered it is. I was just writing in today’s joke. I always make sure I give myself a joke idea each day. Sometimes you’re doing 14-hour days, so you haven’t got time to properly construct the joke. So it’s just an idea, then when I’ve got more time, I’ll write it up properly.
Has your material changed since you hit your thirties?
I’m so fucking boring now. My stand-up is getting funnier, as I’ve got better at it, but my actual life…well, I’ve ditched the clubs for garden centres. I love a garden Centre.
I’m not even that old. I see they’re doing daytime raves for older people. Some of my mates asked me to come along, but it was never the time that was the problem. It was the rave itself.
I like a meal. My friends know if I’m going anywhere, there has to be food or I won’t come along.
How do you recharge after a gig?
I’ve been playing a lot of Pokémon and Mario Kart. An audiobook really helps. I’m listening to a book on Vikings at the moment, which is proper chilling me out.
You’re a big fan of wrestling, too.
I love it. I’m a huge WWE fan. I tend to watch it in the morning, rather than after gigs. I might adopt a kid so I can take him to watch it live.
I watched Disney on Ice recently, and I was the only one there without any kids. That was when I was doing Dancing on Ice.
How gutted were you to get injured in that show?
If you really want the truth, I couldn’t give a shit. It wasn’t my vibe. I mean, it was a good opportunity, but I’ll never do anything like that again in my life. Everyone was really nice, but it wasn’t for me. I might consider celebrity wrestling, but I don’t think I’d get in. I literally left the show through the hospital, so I don’t think I’ll be insured for anything else.
How has becoming a ‘Doctor’s wife” affected your stand-up?
Well, my partner out-earns me now, and a lot of my jokes have been about shagging my way to a better postcode. It has changed me, because I’ve always put my career before a relationship, and it’s been really lovely.
What’s the most nervous you’ve been in your career?
In life, it’s driving lessons. I had to go 30mph today and I almost cried. I’ve got my first roundabout next week and I’m dreading it. In my career, Dancing On Ice, because I’m not a skater and I’m not really comfortable doing reality telly.
I don’t get super-nervous when I’m doing stand-up on the telly, ‘cause I’m used to it. And also, they have an editor.
You host the podcast, Dead Drama. Which historical figure would you most like to have a pint with?
I really want to know what Vlad the Impaler looked like, so maybe him. I mean, he did impale a lot of people, but in one of the paintings of him, he seems really good-looking, so yeah, I’d risk it.
Your show is called, I Haven’t Won the Lottery Yet, So Here’s Another Tour Show. What would happen if you won it mid-tour? Would you carry on?
I’d definitely continue, but I’d come on with like a lion on a lead, and I’d be doing it in much better clothes.
And I’d get a tour bus. A proper one. If I sold all the tickets on my tour, I still couldn’t afford to get a tour bus.
How are you going to celebrate the end of the tour?
I’m going on holiday to Great Yarmouth. And I’ll buy myself something expensive, like tickets to the Royal Rumble. And a lion.
Get your tickets at joshjonescomedy.com