Jeff Dunham: Terrorism For Dummies
By Darren Croft
“I thought, instead of offending just one dangerous person, why don’t I offend a whole group of dangerous people? That’s when I created Achmed.”
For more than three decades, Jeff Dunham has been proving that ventriloquism is far from a relic of the variety-show era. With a suitcase full of sharply defined characters, from the curmudgeonly Walter to the explosive Achmed, he’s built one of the most successful comedy careers of the modern age.
Ahead of his latest UK tour, the record-breaking performer talks about childhood obsessions, career-defining moments, and why making audiences laugh sometimes means walking right up to the edge.
Jeff is chilling at home in Los Angeles when we chat.
You’re coming over to see us this month.
Yes, I’m really looking forward to coming over to the UK again. I’m not just saying it, I absolutely love it over there. It kicks off in Glasgow, and there’s nothing greater to me than sitting in a bar next to a Scottish guy who’s drunk. It’s always the greatest conversation ever.
The first ventriloquists I remember growing up were the likes of Shari Lewis and Keith Harris. Who were your idols?
I remember Shari had a few puppets: Taffy Twinkle and Randy Rocket. Lamb Chop was probably the best known. She was very sweet.
My parents bought me a ventriloquist’s doll when I was about six years old. I was disappointed that it didn’t talk like the ones I’d seen on TV. I’m guessing you were a bit more clued up than me?
Haha, yes, I got what it was about. I was in the third grade, and I’d seen a ventriloquist on TV, so I asked for one, and Santa brought it that year. I bought myself some books and some records and taught myself how to do it.
There’s just a fascination when kids see one for the first time. They want to either see it talk or make it talk.
I have a few US dummies, with the slot jaws and some UK ones too.
You’ve been credited with bringing ventriloquism back to the modern era. What was the point where you thought you’d really made it?
I never really left a way out for myself. I had no other plan and no safety net. This is what I’ve always wanted to do. By the fourth grade, I had the answer for every adult who asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up.
The turning point was probably when I was on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. The other guests were Bob Hope and B. B. King. I look back at the tape, and I cringe a bit now, but I did as well as I could have. I got called over to the couch, which was always a big deal on that show.
I remember walking offstage, and my agent saying my life would never be the same. That was the point where things really took off, and I thought that the plan was finally working after all these decades.
Are your puppet characters based on people you know?
Walter is based on two people I knew. Both were called Walter. I was in college at the time, and I think one was a plumber and the other a welder. They were friends who would just talk to each other and grumble. I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
We have a ventriloquist’s convention every summer, and I remember going once, and a guy had a frowning dummy which I kept looking at. I was sure there was something to it, so I asked to borrow it. I went back to my room, wrote some grumpy jokes, then got up on stage and killed it.
So, I went back to the guy and asked him how much he wanted for the dummy, but it was too much. I was in college at the time, and I promised the guy I’d make him famous- I actually said that- but he wouldn’t lower the price.
So, I went back home, got out some clay, grabbed a butter knife and started moulding a face. That was when I built Walter.
I like to put a dummy on stage, and the audience takes one look at it, and they already know what they’re about to get. Like Bubba J, the Redneck who has that voice that they all know is coming. You’re already heading down that path without having to explain anything.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist came about the year after 9/11. The likes of David Letterman and Jay Leno were making jokes about the guys who did that terrible thing. Not 9/11 itself. There’s nothing funny about that and never will be; it was the guys themselves, like Osama Bin Laden.
And I thought, “I know where Osama is. He’s dead and hiding out with my dummies in the suitcase. I saw a skeleton in a Halloween store, and I thought I could turn that into a puppet of a dead Osama Bin Laden.
I thought if I was going to do it, I wasn’t going to shy away from it. I’m going to pretend that in the audience there are relatives of people who lost loved ones in 9/11. So, what will help them move forward? What will they be able to laugh at?
So, I wrote the jokes, and I didn’t run to the other side of the country. I went right to the heart of it and booked myself a gig just six miles from Ground Zero. It was a Friday night, and I did my usual 45 minutes, then I said to the audience, “There’s one sentence we’ve all been waiting to hear, and that is that Osama Bin Laden is dead.” Everyone cheered.
Then I said, “The good news is, he’s here tonight, please welcome Osama Bin Laden.” Then the place fell silent. It was like God had sucked all the air out of the place. I could see all of these people fromNew Jersey thinking, “What does this idiot from California think he’s doing?”
But then I did the jokes, and the “I’ll kill you” thing, and it could not have got any better. It just took off from there. I did him for about a year or so, and I was getting letters from military families thanking me for making them laugh.
I never made fun of or mentioned Muslims or any religion. Never, ever, ever. You’re whistling in the dark and making fun of what scares you, and it was terrifying back then. We didn’t know what was coming next.
Then, in 2006, I did my second Comedy Central special. My first one had been fairly ‘safe’ and for a family-friendly audience, but I thought this time it needed to be different. I wanted to use the Osama character, but I thought and some point he’s going to be found, and I wanted the joke to last.
I thought, instead of offending just one dangerous person, why don’t I offend a whole group of dangerous people? That’s when I created Achmed.
I wrote the material with this in mind and wanted to entertain as many people as possible. I always feel that if you’re offending three per cent of the audience, you’re probably doing well. As a comic, you have to go to the edge and sometimes tiptoe over it.
I think he’s been around long enough now for people to understand what he’s about. He’s a failed terrorist who loves the free world. The next stage of his transgression is that he finally wants to become a citizen.
Do you think ventriloquism is making a comeback?
I hope it is, but with kids these days having short attention spans, I’m not sure. How does anyone these days get their 10,000 hours to get good at anything? Where are the brilliant new musicians going to come from? What’s happening to the fine arts and people putting the time in to get really good at something? Where are the variety acts? Are there any really good jugglers coming through?
Do the UK audiences get all the gags, or do you have to change anything to suit them?
A few product references and the odd word here and there will get changed, but that’s part of the process. It’s like changing a flat-heat screwdriver for another type. You know what Lucky Charms are, right? The first time I went over to Ireland, they didn’t know what they were. There’s even a leprechaun on the box. Maybe they have them over there now.
As far as jokes go, I was in Germany a few years ago, and I mentioned Hitler as a reference. You could hear gasps. The fact that I just said his name, I thought, “I have just learned a giant lesson here.”
A sense of humour is a sense of humour, and I talk about all of the things that matter to all of us: Family, a job, health, growing old, and all the things we’re scared of. It’s universal humour.
Are there any UK characters on the way?
When I was last in the UK, I created a character that was just for UK audiences: Clive the British Critic. I thought it would be the perfect way to make fun of America. I’ll be bringing him over because everyone enjoyed him last time, and I can make jokes about everything that needs to be made fun of.
Is Larry, the Donald Trump advisor, coming over?
Oh, that’s a very good question…erm…Hey, I like to make fun of whoever is in office, so…oh, that’s very interesting, Darren, I’m going to need to think about that.
Is there a new character on the way?
Yes, I thought about this the other day. Trump said he was going to open up all the files about UFOs, so it’s the perfect time to have an alien. He’s in the works now, but he won’tbe ready for a few months. An actual alien. His name is….
You’re not going to tell me, are you? You know we should name it the X-stein Files.
Oh, that’s very funny. You know, my name is in the Epstein files.
No way!
Yeah, there was an email from somebody in 2013. It was just after ISIS had killed a camp full of people. Someone said, “It looks like Jeff Dunham’s going to put his Achmed character away for a while.” That’s all it said, but hey! I’m not sure I should be proud of it. Probably not!
Jeff Dunham is bringing back his cast of colourful characters to UK & Irish arenas for 5 dates in March, his biggest shows to date. The shows will feature Walter, Peanut, Achmed, Bubba J, and a very special UK only guest. For tickets and more information www.myticket.co.uk/artists/jeff-dunham
