“I was at Oxford reading PPE with Liz Truss,” says Melissa. Visually, she’s not what I expected. Remember that headteacher who campaigned to bring back the desk penalty… that’s her! “I didn't like it at all and I went a bit bonkers, which is not uncommon among Oxford undergraduates,” she says. “So I became a stripper instead! I saw an ad in the Evening Standard saying, “Dancers wanted, make 600 pounds a night” and I thought “Lovely, I love dancing, I love money, hurrah!" It was only meant to be a year out, but I just didn't stop because I was having too much fun.” Hurrah indeed. Who doesn’t love reminiscing about the days when AI stood for animal instinct and Stringfellows wallpaper was in fashion.
“I’d started doing stripper grams when a model scout came in and asked if I'd like to make some spanking porn,” says Melissa. Her eyes are lighting up. Time to get kinky. “I thought, “Yeah, why not?” I never really think about anything very hard,” she says. “The scout gave me a spanking at the back of the shop in Soho and said, “Oh yes, you're very good, you can take this.” So I started making spanking porn with him, and of course I met girls who did that as a living, but also saw private clients on the side. They were always really rich with detached houses and kids in private school. So I thought, “I think I should give that a go.” Twenty eight years later and I'm still making a lot of porn. They particularly love me in America because of the accent and whole Mary Poppins vibe I've got.”
These days, Melissa is the one giving the spanking and likes to be known as Ms. Matthews.
“At the start, when I was 19, 20, I was receiving, but now I’m what I like to call a disciplinarian,” she says. “I don’t think of myself as a dominatrix, because I don’t deal with dungeons and ropes and all that stuff. I carry out domestic disciplines. I'm usually a school teacher or an angry auntie, that kind of thing. It's all in a very domestic setting with role play. I dress up in 1950s dresses or pencil skirts and seam stockings. Think vintage glamour. My stage name is Ms. Matthews, which I was called for a series of custom films where I was a headmistress of a girls' boarding school. That series went on for years actually. It's still sort going on. So yeah, everyone came to know me as Ms. Matthews.”
If you fancy being disciplined by Ms. Matthews, you’ll need to book an hourly slot.
“If you come to see me at my lovely home in Broadstairs, it's 150 pounds an hour,” she says. “And I will scold you, spank you, put you over my knee, put you in the corner, possibly give you lines. Then I’ll send you on your merry way and give you a hug?
“I can come to yours too, if you'd prefer. Or a hotel room. I just add travel costs on top.”
Intensity varies according to client erh, experience and requirements.
“If the client is brand new, they're often not even sure if they're kinky or not,” says Melissa. “I can make it very gentle and soft by using feathers, or I can beat the shit out of you and have blood up the walls. It's entirely up to you.”
Blood up the walls? Is that a joke? Nope!
“It can happen, yeah, particularly if they're on medications,” says Melissa. “When I see older gentlemen on blood thinners, it's genuinely blood up the walls and I send them to the train station with blood seeping down their trousers and I’m picking up chunks of flesh off the floor. Not often, but sometimes it can happen. They love it.
“If they’re into breath play, they can even pass out. They just tell me to call 999 and leave if they don’t wake up. I mean, I’m not a doctor. I’m seeing a chap tomorrow who loves breath play actually. He’s 85 and he's had two heart attacks already and that is kind of terrifying. But he loves it. I put a pillow over his face or put a belt around his neck so he can't breathe. It’s like oxygen deprivation.”
Melissa reveals she’s getting an increasing number of women visiting for the Ms. Matthews treatment. But she prefers blokes.
“Women in their forties are desperate to be disciplined,” she says. “They tend to fall in love with me more and be more needy than men. I prefer men who just turn up, get whacked and go away again.”
What if they’re married and leave covered in marks?
“That's always a problem,” says Melissa. “Most men seem to think they can hide their bums for about two to three days from their wives. And if they're really worried, I can hit the soles of their feet instead of their actual anus. That's an option too. Bits that wives don't tend to look at.”
Melissa attributes mental health issues to the motivation behind many a client’s penchant for a Ms. Matthews naughty hour.
“Being spanked is like the ultimate form of mindfulness,” she says. “If you're in pain, you just can't be worrying about anything else. It's just like an ice bath really. In actual fact, caning has been used to treat depression and anxiety in some countries. In my experience, recipients of caning seem to feel cared about and loved and they get a massive dopamine and an adrenaline rush from it. It does them the power of good. A lot of my clients got really depressed over lockdown when they couldn’t get their spanking fix.”
Melissa has been married seven years to a bloke who doesn’t like being on the receiving end of her stick, or care much who is!
“My husband is not remotely kinky, he thinks it's all just hilarious,” she says. “Often he's in the house when I’m spanking and he can hear men screaming. He doesn't object to it at all. He's an actor, so he just thinks of it as theatre, which is all it really is.”
Melissa’s book “Americaned” tells the story of her American antics whilst making a massive porn film with nine other women.
“In 2022, I was travelling down the east coast of America and then three weeks later I was booked to be in Texas at a spanking convention,” she says. “I had lots of kinky adventures on route and discovered a lot about America and about myself, which I share in the book.
“I still travel a lot as Ms. Matthews. I actually get asked to do more than I want now. I should be in Florida next week, but I can't be bothered. Ms. Matthews is in huge demand.
“I book up tours, so I just say to people, “I'm going to be in Australia next week.” I'm quite active on social media and people just see me and go, "Oh, please come to see me. And eventually I get like ten days of work set it up. It's brilliant, I can just go anywhere I like in the world and be sure of making money, which is awesome.
“I make between five and six grand a month. I spank my accountant as well, so he deals with all of that. Accountants and lawyers are my best clients. Men in management roles are usually sick of telling people what to do and just want to be disciplined for an hour.
“Occasionally I get enquiries from couples, but they’ve not actually turned up together yet. I think it's usually the man who writes and then the woman decides not to go through with it. There was a woman who brought her husband once because she'd broken her wrist or something and couldn't beat him anymore. That was charming. So she just sat there going, “Go on, hit him harder.” It was great.”
Melissa has her sights set on a certain someone she’d love to see walk into her classroom.
“I'll go to Texas in November because it'll be the election. I’d love to spank Donald Trump so much. I wouldn't stop though.
“Biden, I’d just give him a lovely cuddle and put him to bed.
“I do actually spank a lot of guys who are over eighty. I genuinely think spanking is really good for your health, physically and mentally, because my clients always seem to look and act younger than they really are. One of my clients was 92 and he was literally skipping around and putting his tongue out at me going, “You can't catch me, mummy.”
Americaned: Sex and Grief Across a Continent by Melissa Todd is now available
A Loaded exclusive extract lads…enjoy!
On the last morning of the Lone Star spanking party, we hold a spanking court. The Judge was our drunken jolly DJ the night before, and so seems extra dour and severe in the chilly dawn light. He bangs his gavel and calls the first case.
A wife accuses her husband of keeping the thermostat too low at home. She’s constantly freezing, but here at the hotel where he isn’t paying, he allows the room to be nicely toasty, and she’s vastly happier. The husband, who looks exactly like Colonel Sanders, staggers to the witness box. “It’s our money I’m saving, and more than that, I’m saving the planet, and the lives of those in developing nations, who are most affected by climate change…”
Ooh, it's got dead serious dead quick. The room falls silent. The Judge agrees with the Colonel, and the wife is bent over his desk for six swats with a solid wooden paddle.
I’ve been surprised how many couples attend this party. I imagined it would all be single men lusting over the models, but no, mostly couples, older than I’d imagined, in the main, and the wives eagerly spanking, being spanked, and best yet, encouraging their husbands to see me for spanking instruction.
Another wife accuses her husband of dangerous driving en route to the party, and their friend of being so infuriating in the car that her husband was compelled to drive dangerously. “We were late, and she insisted we drive to the next town to get a burger! Not fashionably late, really late! And he was stressed and drove badly and we nearly crashed….”
The Judge reaches for his gavel and paddle. “I’ll spank you all and let God sort it out. Next!”
A party first-timer accuses a regular of packing too many outfits and “making the rest of us look bad. Twelve outfits for a three day event, all with matching shoes and panties! How can I compete with that?!”
The Judge admires the matching shoes and panties, and brings a counter claim that the newcomer is jealous and dowdy, and needs ten paddle swats. “Can I get an amen? AMEN!” Hangovers lift as caffeine and schaudenfraude strike us all as one. The crowd roars its delight.
Court dismissed, we skip, hollering, to the brats’ breakfast, coffee, burritos and doughnuts. Later, the vendors’ fair, and tonight, a pyjama party. We stampede through the corridors, failing to hide our glee and paddles, while the other hotel guests glare.
