Picture the scene. It’s the late 1980’s. It’s 1 in the morning and I’m on the dancefloor of Route66 nightclub in Cambridge. It’s Indie Night and after some serious arm-waving to The Cure’s Love Cats, the DJ drops a record that I’ve never heard before. What is this angelic sound? I rush toward the decks and demand that the DJ names the creator of this wonderful tune.
“It’s Wrote For Luck, by Happy Mondays, mate.”
And that was it. Straight down to Andy’s Records the next morning (to the upstairs bit where they had all the good stuff). Sure enough, there it was…the 7-inch single. I had found the Holy Grail. Back to the house to put it onto a cassette and then straight into my clapped-out Yugo to drive around (max speed 35mph) and blast the tune out on repeat for the next few months.
Me and my pal, Dave Waddy, sported Ryder haircuts from then onwards. Yes, the trendy kids mocked us, but little did they know, Storm Madchester was on its way.
Shaun Ryder and his gang of Happy Mondays gave the music world the kick up the arse it so badly needed in the late 80s. They were cool. Proper cool. The cool that made it look like they weren’t even trying. Then followed Black Grape, I’m A Celebrity, Gogglebox and more. It’s been quite a journey to get here. With plenty of ups and plenty more downs.
Ryder maybe has to try a little harder to be cool these days. The sunglasses he ordered for the front cover photoshoot haven't arrived.
“I'm actually gutted, really, because I just fucking lost me glasses. I'm losing them all the time. And I just ordered the Steve McQueen personal ones, you know, the fold-up ones. I just ordered them, and they're not fucking here.
Not the best of starts, perhaps, but he still looks pretty cool to me.
You've been on the front cover of Loaded before. Can you tell me a little bit about that to remind us?
“Ah, the last time I was on the front cover of Loaded, it was 1995 and I think I was dressed as a penguin. I'm sure I've been on the front of Loaded, you know, in a fucking Dickie bow, in a black suit and white shirt.”
What's the best and worst thing about getting older?
“I suppose the best thing for me is accepting myself and who I am, and the worst thing about getting older is, well, I've got two fucked up hips, one waiting to be replaced. I've got a cracked fucking spine. I'm full of arthritis. I've got a fucked up thyroid, so basically, I've got an underactive thyroid, which makes me slow and fat. I mean, you know, I'm not too bad for a 62-year-old with a tick-tock condition.”
Apart from all that, what do you miss most from your younger days?
“Nothing, much, really, no, nothing. I get asked that all the time. Back in the day, when you’re in a band, I mean, you know, wow! But playing with Black Grape and the Mondays now is better than ever. And I'm not fucked up all the time. So I don't really miss anything. I mean, I’ve had a good innings, you know? Some people didn't make it, but I did. I mean, I’m still on this planet. I'm enjoying myself now, in my 60s.”
Obviously, a big buzz back in the day was the drinking and the booze. What's your buzz now?
“I still have a pint. I mean, I was a fucking drug fiend, you know. Heroin, the E, crack, fucking crystal fucking meth, you name it. I did, obviously, have a lot of good drinking sessions. When you're drinking with amphetamines or cocaine or heroin, you can drink a lot more, but I never actually got addicted to the booze.“
What are you addicted to now?
“Well, nothing, really. I mean, I go cycling. I don't put on the fucking lycra or anything like that. I just get on my bike and go, really. So that's my sort of buzz. I love being me. I've gone through the phase where I hated playing all the Mondays and Black Grape songs. I went through that phase years ago, and now I just love doing what I do. It's better than ever.”
What point was the peak of madness for you?
“When I was 59 I got diagnosed with ADHD, so that explained all the fucking madness, you know, all this sort of early promiscuous behaviour, all the drinking, drugs, and everything else. All the mad behaviour and all the trouble I got into and why I couldn't fucking learn anything. I've got six kids, two are undiagnosed, and the rest are all ADHD. That all comes from me.”
You talk about kids. There are six kids. What would you say to any dads out there who have just started their journey into parenting?
“Oh, fuck me. Am I not the fucking best to get advice off? I mean, I've got to put my hands up and say my misses sorts out all the kids. If I were in charge of the kids I’d have had them taken off me by social fucking services years ago.
“I mean, actually, my kids have done all right. The older ones are in their 30s, and they've all turned out really well. So, I've got the two teenage, mad ADHD, artistic teenage daughters that are absolutely fucking mad girls and I've got two boys, and they’re a piece of piss. They'll just fucking nine times out of tem do what the man tells them. Boys are easy, but girls, it's like fucking bitch dogs on heat. Girls are just fucking hard work.
“My best advice is probably just don’t fucking worry.”
You and Bez are Gogglebox regulars. How many age groups does your fan base cover now?
“One of the reasons for doing reality television was to pull in young fans. Our age group for the bands now goes from about seven to eighty odd.”
Surely, you can't go to the supermarket like a normal person?
“I don't go to the supermarket that often anyway. I'm old school. I get the wife to do it, or we get it delivered, but I don't go.”
How many hours does it take to film a Gogglebox episode?
“Oh, well, that just depends. I mean, I think if we start at four, we’re supposed to finish around eight. But we can start at four or five sometimes, and we can go on till 11p.m. It just depends. I mean, me and Bez are easy anyway, so we just keep going.”
What's the one show that you didn't think you'd like, but you've actually quite enjoyed now, as a result of Gogglebox?
“Everything we watch is usually okay with me. I’ve never watched Love Island, but I don’t need to. I’ve got two teenage girls, that’s just like fucking Love Island right there.
“What I've got into more through Gogglebox is watching wildlife documentaries. Watching whales and fucking rams that are walking up cliffs to go and eat penguins. I think it's really got into me. In fact, I’ve watched all those old David Attenborough ones that you can get on that iPlayer. They’re great!”
In your rock and roll days, was there really a rivalry between you and the other bands?
“Never with us, never. I mean, the press wanted to steer that sort of goal. But don't forget, we were around before Britpop, so they then sort of made out that all those Manchester bands were big buddies with each other. There are a few Manchester bands we were friends with like the lads from the Stone Roses and Clint Boone is a really great dude. We got on well with everyone.”
Oasis- Liam or Noel? Do you have a favourite?
“Not really, no, They're both good dudes.”
Tell us how the Gorillaz collaboration came about.
“I got a call from Damon asking me if I wanted to do some songs, and maybe write something. And I was really bad at that time. I mean, I was going through fucking shit. Loads of legal problems and I was also dry as fuck, you know, writer’s block. Anyway, I went to London, and I watched them in their studio, and Damon started bouncing a few tunes around. I've got the headphones on, and, I mean, I wrote some shit, proper, mad fucking lyrics that were all over the place, and that didn't work.
“He's put this other tune on, and I'm just going, “Turn it up, turn it up”. And then as he's doing it, I'm going, “It’s going up, it's going up, it's going up, it’s there”. And then David went, “Just do that again”. So I’m like “It's going up, it's going up, it's going up, it's there”. And that was it.”
You got a tour coming up, tell us about it.
“The Q & A tour starts in September and goes on until about 2026. We’re going to all different venues for people to ask questions.
“I've got a book out as well. We’ve also got a few Black Grape gigs going on at the minute. Great stuff, touring.”
Does it take its toll?
“No. It has done in the past. You make an album, you go and tour it for three years, you finish touring it, and you go make another fucking album, and you go and tour that for three years. That's what happens when you're a young man, and you've got to deal with it. But touring now is totally different.”
You suffer from alopecia. What happened?
“In 2018 I got total body alopecia. I don't really know the reason why. Maybe my blood wasn’t right. No pubes, no fucking hairs on my legs, my armpits. I shaved my balls once, and it was the worst thing I ever did, because it was like having a raw bit of chicken between my legs and all sticky.”
“I've been on testosterone replacement since the alopecia. I had no testosterone and my doctor was really good. He gave me a full examination. Because you get a lot of doctors, and they'll go, “Oh, you’re depressed”, because they don't want to fucking give you the testosterone because it costs too much.
“A man gets to around 40, and his testosterone goes and it mimics depression. It's fucking terrible. It's like a woman going through the menopause.”
A quick chat about football. Are you a Red?
“Yeah, I'm a Red. I watch England and I watch United if there’s a game on, but I'm not really a big footie fan.“
You mentioned you've been through some shit, what advice would you give to someone who's struggling with mental health issues?
“First of all, go and get your fucking testosterone checked out. If you're in your late 30s or early 40s and you're feeling depressed and you know you're having a few mental health problems, go and get your fucking testosterone checked out, and don't let them give you shit.”
“The National Health's got no fucking money, so all the doctors have got low budgets, and it costs a lot of money to give you testosterone. They just tell you you’re depressed instead. You're depressed, so here's some fucking antidepressants. And 9 times out of 10, it's a man’s testosterone. And it really is fucking bad.”
The legend has been through the pills, thrills and bellyaches of life and is still alive and very much kicking. Hallelujah to that!
