“I don’t mind doing the school runs and pick ups because I like being a Dad”
“A ‘Dad’? You shouldn’t use that term”.
Too gender specific apparently.
Yes, that was an actual response to my initial comment about looking after my kids. If it could be any more head shakingly ridiculous, the response was from a DAD of three. What do your kids call you then mate?! Cos I could have suggested a few names there and then.
This same DAD labelled me right wing because I was pro freedom of speech. There must have been 8 other Dads there and not one challenged him.
This was only one of a few eyebrow raising statements that came my way where I lived recently in Sydenham in South East London, where I witnessed an ecstasy in ideological conformity. The open degradation of men. Daily. Egoic minds succumbing to peers. Opinion euthanasia. During the height of the #MeToo lynching seasons, there was also a poster next to the door of the local park cafe where people queued, that had a pleasant reminder along the lines of… “Mothers! Your boys are all capable of RAPE”. My Mother? She tore it down.
A largely well monied, creative, good hearted, soundly moralled and solidly parenting community so it was. It’s now a distant memory. I escaped the Guardian Gulag and now live by the coast. Me? Let’s get the obligatory caveat out of the way. Never used to have to caveat did you?! I consider myself a liberal. I once staged a one man protest in Trafalgar Square handing out pages of A4 with 13 QUESTIONS BUSH WON’T ANSWER! atop them. I’ve not changed my fundamental values. But the left has slid away, largely to a place it once despised. I go above and beyond to make local families at my kids’ school feel especially welcome if they may be from lands afar. Those friendships are now solidified and it maintains the kaleidoscope of nationalities that I loved so much in London. I never accept racism at any turn and my youngest said recently to his teacher in his infant class that he doesn’t need to learn about Black History Month as he listens to Public Enemy and Wu Tang over his cereal. Job done. My house is bedecked in little rectangles of respect for my black heroes, so that they seep into the sub consciousness of my children. Among them; Rosa Lee Parks, Prince, Little Richard, Sheila E, Rza, Nas, Eric B & Rakim and Ayaan Hirsi Ali, whose Aha Foundation I’m a member of. But I have lived an experience that shows how easily an ideology can infect and evoke group-think, that then becomes a runaway train crushing non-believers in its path. Another DAD in our social group summarised this nicely to me on the sidelines one day when he said “I admire and agree with most of the things you say when you counter everyone, but I’m too scared to go against the group”.
Safer to keep schtum and nod as your gender is thrown under a bus daily and “man up”/ “man flu” and “mansplaining” are tossed around liberally, and even by men. *blood boils.
Basically then? Good people made to feel bad. None of us are free of the pointed finger. The question is; how much of a bastard are YOU? There’s a measure of joy in making someone feel less than you, the spectrum being from hitting a ball back and past them to full blown bully tactics. If you’re the latter, next time you drive down a country lane in autumn as the sun sets, notice that the trees are brown, but they’ll grow again, and notice as well that they’re greener than ever.
To me, Woke culture at that time - and we’re talking 4-7 years ago in reverse chronology - was a living daily rehearsal of the ‘She’s a Witch!’ scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Only it was mainly men that were getting burnt daily over extra hot and over priced flat whites in thimbles. Men who from what I saw and experienced, kept their mouths firmly shut and asked permission for every step they took. Don’t only take my word for it; this article from ex Guardian columnist Suzanne Moore is an incredible encapsulation of how the ideology affected her in the work place https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/the-guardian-freedom-of-speech-suzanne-moore-b1099386.html.
We would do well before we continue, to defer to the late great Christopher Hitchens and his view on why freedom of speech is something we have to fight for. https://www.reddit.com/r/samharris/comments/ktsz9d/the_late_great_chris_hitchens_reminds_us_why_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
It does feel that things are slowly swinging back to a more rational thought process. However, it also seems that it’s only men that ever want to discuss that it’s only men that seem to be losing out in all areas.
Here are some things to cogitate over immediately, on a U.S tip:
- 3 out 4 opioid addicts in the U.S are men
- 3 out of 4 homeless people are men.
- Men are 3 x as likely to commit suicide.
- 3 x as likely to be jailed.
- Women under the age of 30 make more money than men.
- More single women own homes than single men.
- Twice as many women in the last year have been elected to some form of parliament.
- More women globally are seeking higher education than men.
The ‘High Heels’ effect has been discussed in open debates and puts the idea forward that with the above being the current societal state of affairs, women will still openly say that they wouldn’t date a man under a certain height, or under a certain financial strata. The bottleneck for men, especially those in their 40s and upwards, becomes ever more strangulating, the heel on the neck digs a little deeper and meanwhile women are flying high and continue to do so. We should celebrate the latter, as we are part of a melting pot that has enabled this change, and many of you will have daughters who you’d take a bullet for, but equality? Equality; the word that Woke forgot. How many men do you know that are referred to as ‘The Boss’ by their partner? I’m sure you’ve found plenty in reverse.
Put the kettle on for this one. A beautiful quantum leap-back reminder of the absurdity of Wokeism at its most extreme for you: The James Lindsay & Helen Pluckrose experiment - highlights what a ridiculous and fabricated world the extreme end of the Woke spectrum we lived through. Nothing highlights where we were more so than this 6 minute clip of them enjoying the big reveal moment https://youtu.be/kVk9a5Jcd1k?si=AnvCD4U32PMYdES4
In the scandal known as the Grievance Studies Scandal in 2018, they exposed how easy it is to be able to have, in their words; “absurdities and morally fashionable political ideas published as legitimate academic research”.
They wrote hoax papers and submitted them to a range of selected journals, seven of which were accepted for publication.
I like to imagine John Cleese enjoying these little highlights as he sips his morning Horlicks:
- One of their published papers found its props in Gender Place and Culture, in which it proposed that dog parks are “rape-condoning spaces”. Gender Place and Culture honoured this piece as exemplary scholarship, which featured entirely concocted statements like: “Dog parks are microcosms where hegemonic masculinist norms governing queering behaviour and compulsory heterosexuality can be observed in a cross-species environment.”
- On May 19th, 2017, Lindsay and Peter Boyle published a hoax gender studies paper, entitled The Conceptual Penis as a Social Construct, in the peer-reviewed, pay-to-publish social science journal Cogent Social Sciences “We wrote an absurd paper loosely composed in the style of post-structuralist discursive gender theory. The paper was ridiculous by intention, essentially arguing that penises shouldn’t be thought of as male genital organs but as damaging social constructions. We made no attempt to find out what “post-structuralist discursive gender theory” actually means.
- New Discourses.com published their delve into the much mused by the mainstream topic of whether men could reduce their transphobia by anally penetrating themselves with sex toys; “Do men who report greater comfort with receptive penetrative anal eroticism also report less transphobia, less obedience to masculine gender norms, greater partner sensitivity, and greater awareness about rape?” it asked in the intro. Do contact Loaded with any personal experience or info on this matter.
Heroes. James and Helen. Sense Avengers. In my own personal view - and in homage to the aforementioned speech by Hitchens - they should benefit from the same reverence as John Milton’s Areopagitica that stands proud as one of history’s most influential and impassioned written defences of freedom of speech. (Areopagitica being the hill in Athens reserved for discussion and the trading of views). A view that by the way, if you disagree with it, I’m as happy to hear your counter view as one that aligns with mine. If X had been around in the 60s and there had been diktats banning hate speech then we may never have heard the magnificent and unfading words of Martin Luther King.
For the biggest sign that the Woke train may have hit the buffers, we can obviously look no further than Trump’s election win.
Americans seem to have left Woke ideology behind in their droves, including many who dislike Trump or are highlighted by the left as being in the crosshairs of any Trump administration. This includes the Asian vote, Hispanic and Black voters. This may not be a direct show of hands supporting Trump’s policies but rather two fingers to Identity Politics, which may now become an ever decreasing influence. After all, why would a party run a race based on that ideology when it has enabled the Marmite Man to stage his political comeback?
The issue of gender policies was at the forefront of this historical swing and has become the significant point of debate in American politics and here in the U.K. Here are a couple of the most major factors that contributed to uncertainty regarding the Democrats' stance on gender issues and which mirror closely the issues that stoke the UK home fires:
Gender Identity in Schools
The debate around transgender rights is perhaps the pointy stick that the Democrats will look back at as the instrument that they whacked themselves hardest with. Particularly regarding children and schools. Many people are uncomfortable with transgender students using the same toilet or participating in sports aligned with their gender identity. There is also a worry over the teaching of gender identity concepts in schools, with many arguing that it is inappropriate for children to be exposed to such topics. That’s aside from the inherently mind bendingly confusing nature of these topics in their very essence. Or maybe that’s just me!
Let’s not even get into pronouns.
Focus on Identity Politics
There was a concern among some voters that the Democratic Party was too focused on identity politics, including sexuality, race, and gender, which they believed swung attention away from more traditional and current issues like the economy, national security, or healthcare. Many voters argued that an emphasis on identity can create division in communities rather than unity - something that is felt largely missing in many communities - leading to a view that the Democratic Party is prioritising particular groups over others.
One of the most well regarded Ivy League schools, ranking 13th for prestige in America, has Gender Reassignment as part of its student insurance program. Why not get it done now via your insurance and before you have to pay it off alongside your life long albatross of student debt?
There is a common school of thought that thinks that these moves towards fluidity in gender such as we are experiencing now have been one of the pre eminent signposts for the unravelling of civilisations. We can look back at the Archaic Period when Greek sculptures shifted from depicting robust young men to men of a more, shall we say, limp variety. The same indicators appeared in the late Hellenistic Period in Greece. The late phase of the Roman Empire. The Mauve Period in the 1890s that is inextricably linked to Oscar Wilde. Times when society was very purposefully and consciously open and cosmopolitan above and beyond the norms. Anything went and everything eventually… went. These are just a few phases of history that show the same societal seams coming apart. With historical hindsight we can look back and see that the pillars of those societies were starting to crumble and that was always followed by a door being opened to the concept of heroic masculinity on the periphery of those cultures. Knives being sharpened and troops mobilised. We see this see-saw today; with strong alpha leaders gaining power after a period of mixed messaging and confusion relating to the topics discussed.
“As society drifts away from the truth it will hate those that speak it”.
George Orwell, 1984.
We’ll never reach Mars at this rate.
Woke. Woke is not dead. It’s just on life support. Just as those who question its direction or positive effect on the world around them are right wing by default, as proponents of Wokeism would like to have you believe. There’s a danger in celebrating the end of any extremism. We’re best to try and understand each other. To not think of ourself as being attached to a tribe. To not self identify with a left or a right slant. I remember fondly a time where you would date someone for months, years maybe, and have zero inclination regarding their political leaning. The premise didn’t exist. Now that there seems to be - dare I say it - a whiff of balance and less exclusion entering the average pub chat, my hope is that the optics that we holistically view the world through, show a world that is slightly less extreme going forwards, less angry and a little more rational and tolerant to others.
I want to live in a world where the loonies can’t fly. Where only the rational and the pure of heart can soar above the trees. With those that understand that magic mushrooms are the gift we need, a portal to another dimension of love that is beyond what we are told to settle for. Where people know that your sins are probably the most interesting thing about you and accept them. Laughing at the notion of cultural appropriation. For appropriation is homage, if the intent is respect. Where left and right are reserved for directions. Never, ever, let the bastards get you down. Be kind to everyone you meet. Do a good deed every Friday. Buy that homeless person a hot panini. Choose wisely. Know thine self and only ride with the elite. Let the rest lay in the ditch with - in the words of Bob Dylan - “flies buzzin’ around their eyes”. We move forwards.
Let’s end with some laser guided words from that old sage Ferris, a person we should always turn to when in troubled waters:
“Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself".
Ferris Bueller. 1986.
David J Ham
@slice007
