“Popular culture” as a term has become atomized. I’m not the first to point it out. It’s oxymoronic and so is everything else “PC”.
I had to go for a run to work this one out. It was too early to get on the juice and my head had become this catastrophic kaleidoscope of fucked up terminology.
The run confirmed it. Everything “PC” has become little more than a big fat white lie.
Politically correct: An example of an oxymoron at its finest. Need I elaborate?
Parental consent: Well, what the fuck is that nowadays? I’m a parent myself. An atheist and an avid supporter of the “far away” party. My kid’s favourite music video is “I love it” (you’re such a fuckin’ ho), and the sight of Peppa Pig gives him incontrollable rage. So, obviously, I just stick on Kayne West.”
As religion would have it, for something to be “consenting” or “correct” it must be culturally acceptable. But don’t today’s youth present the main idea of cultural identity as they evolve to continually accept new cultural values, patterns and behaviors? And how can something that is constantly evolving provide the foundation for a fixed human ideology? Exactly, it can’t.
True religion is perceptive. Just take a sniff of the pope’s pinkie. Popular culture is a fish ‘n’ chips wrapper. Parental consent is quite often dictated by the very group who define popular culture, and Biden would tell you Trump is not politically correct.
Introducing the Loaded PC terminology. Let’s all become “publicly correct”. A term no age, race, religion or social status can atomize. Ever. And unless we’re whacked with another round of COVID crap, it’s pretty safe to say we all need to behave correctly in public.
Some suggestions to get you started:
- Never scratch your balls in public. Not even through the fabric. It implies you have lower limb lice and women don’t enjoy stuffing their face into a hair muff (unless they’re German lesbians). Keep it groomed, keep it clean.
- Don’t view provocative pages on Instagram whilst logged into your profile. The algorithm will pick up on your topics of interest and throw out a load more onto your feed next time the missus is walking past your phone. Log out first or get a fitter wife.
- Always floss. There’s really no excuse for poor dental hygiene. Leaving bits of food stuck between your teeth can unleash nasal warfare on mates, colleagues and anyone you’re next mouth to mouth with.
- Avoid causing an attack on the retinas. That is to say, don’t slip down the designer slope to Ali G land just because you saw it on TikTok. Oversized logos and gold shoelaces just don’t look good on anyone.
Send your reader snaps shitting on your neighbour’s lawn (or tips to becoming publicly correct) to [email protected]
Make sure you do it when they’re at church on Sunday though.