Welcome to the Loaded Christmas Pub Quiz; the only festive showdown where sharp minds, dodgy jumpers and questionable beverage choices collide in glorious, tinsel-covered chaos.
Tonight, you’ll be battling through 20 questions of pure Christmas carnage: movies you only half-watched while asleep on the sofa, songs you’ve heard so many times you now twitch at the sound of sleigh bells, and enough festive trivia to make even Santa consider early retirement.
So grab a pint, park yourself somewhere comfy, and prepare to prove once and for all whether you’re a Christmas connoisseur… or the sort of person who still thinks Die Hard might not be a Christmas film.
Pens ready. Drinks topped up. Egos inflated.
Let the quiz begin.
Round 1: Festive Nonsense & Seasonal Shenanigans
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Which Christmas movie hero manages to protect his house using nothing but paint cans, marbles, and the energy of a feral raccoon?
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In what country do people celebrate Christmas by eating KFC — proving once and for all that fried chicken is universal?
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Which Christmas song has been played so many times that scientists reckon it may now legally count as a form of torture?
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What colour should Santa’s suit have been before a certain soft drink brand got involved?
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What festive dessert is traditionally set on fire, which is exactly how many people feel after their third glass of mulled wine?
Round 2: Christmas Movies (the good, the bad, and the ones you watch hungover)
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Which film features the most intense office Christmas party ever, complete with explosions, hostages, and questionable HR procedures?
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In Love Actually, which character desperately attempts to learn Portuguese purely because he fancies someone?
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What’s the name of the green, furry Christmas hater who lives alone — basically the patron saint of anyone working retail in December?
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Which film sees a grumpy man grow his heart two sizes, despite the obvious medical implications?
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Which Christmas movie has more plot holes than a Christmas jumper knitted by someone blindfolded?
Round 3: Festive Music & Yuletide Chaos
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Who gifted the world “Last Christmas”, a song guaranteed to follow you around every supermarket from November onwards?
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Which band recorded the Christmas hit that kicks off with “It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid”?
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Who belts out “All I Want for Christmas Is You”, a song that defrosts every November like a festive superweapon?
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Which Christmas song features a drunk uncle, a fight, and a very questionable piano tone that screams “pub at 11pm”?
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What festive tune repeats the word “Christmas” so often you start to wonder if the singer is being paid per mention?
Round 4: Random Festive Trivia (a.k.a. the good stuff)
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Which city claims to host the biggest Christmas market — a place where you can buy wooden toys, overpriced sausages, and mild frostbite?
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What’s the name of the day when people traditionally hit the shops for bargains and hit each other for slightly better bargains?
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In The Twelve Days of Christmas, which gift would realistically get you evicted for noise complaints by day three?
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What festive plant traditionally encourages people to kiss — usually resulting in at least one awkward moment per office party?
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Which reindeer’s name sounds like a brand of German beer you’d absolutely try at 1am?
Answers
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Kevin McCallister (Home Alone)
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Japan
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“All I Want for Christmas Is You” (or “Last Christmas” — both are acceptable torture devices!)
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Green
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Christmas pudding
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Die Hard
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Jamie (Colin Firth)
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The Grinch
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The Grinch (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
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The Holiday (but accept any deliberately plot-hole-riddled Christmas film!)
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Wham!
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Band Aid – “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
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Mariah Carey
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“Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues
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“Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens (acceptable alternatives: other overly repetitive classics)
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Vienna
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Boxing Day
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The drummers drumming (also acceptable: the pipers piping)
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Mistletoe
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Blitzen