Your turn to cook is it? Trying to cut down on your spending and waist size and so heading to the supermarket instead of Uber Eats, is it? Not a fucking clue what to cook that is remotely “a meal” versus a set of edible foodstuffs, and given you’ve got company, you know you need to push the boat out and/or actually impress them, is it? We’re here to help.
PASTA ALLA NORMA
Aubergines look like you made an impressive effort but they’re less likely to give you food poisoning than meat. Add them into pasta and it’s as restaurants as it is great scran. They’re also easy, you just need to set the oven high, and add a fuck load of olive oil and salt. Fool-proof way to sort this is to chop them up in slices, and then quarter those. Coat them in the oil and salt and get them in a single layer in the oven for about 20 minutes, from there just check every five mins or so until they’re looking really golden brown and are soft with a fork. Shouldn’t take more than 35 mins all in.
While you’re waiting for them to cook, make a simple pasta sauce. Fry garlic in the pan, maybe add chilli if you want to be proper about it. Don’t let it burn, but get the garlic golden, stir it often to help this. Then just smash your tinned tomatoes in, some herbs (oregano is good), a bit of salt and pepper, and just let that do its thing for ten minutes, then turn the heat down while you wait for the aubergine. Cook the spaghetti like it says on the packet, mix it all together. Happy days.
ONE POT MASSAMAN CURRY
You can eat beef rare, even raw, so just like the veg options, it's your stress-free meat. Especially in something saucy just in case you overcook it and need a bit of wet going on. First thing, fry the steak. If you have the time, season the meat in salt a good while before you start – say half hour before and just leave it on the side. Cook it medium rare ideally, two mins on each side, and let it rest on a plate.
Now add some more oil and fry an onion in there, then add a massaman curry paste (buy it online if you don’t think the shop will have it), say 100g. Add some vegetables now, could go aubergine again, pumpkin is a good one, you’ll want potatoes though. If you want to get this going quicker, boil the potatoes for three minutes before you add them to the curry. Add the coconut milk in with the veg, bring it to a simmer and then cover the pan and cook it for a good ten to fifteen minutes. If you want to add green beans, add them in at the end, then when they’re cooked (a few minutes, just eat one and see when it’s done), add the steak (sliced). Serve it with rice, nobody said you couldn’t microwave this.
Le bosh.